Starting January 17th McDonald’s Happy Meals will come with Adventure Time toys! There’s BMO, Ice King, and two different Jake and Finn figures. Unfortunately no Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, or Lumpy Space Princess. Probably because these are only for the boys. The girls’ Happy Meals are getting Paul Frank stuff instead. Wow, sounds more like Sad Meals to me. I mean I’m sure Paul Frank toys are cool and all, but when you put it up against Adventure Time then they just totally blow. Besides the Paul Frank stuff isn’t even toys! It’s junk like, literally, a journal and a sticker dispenser. What the heck did Susan B. Anthony fight for anyway? Exactly — voting rights and equally cool Happy Meal toys for all genders. I bet she’s mega bummed right now. Totally rolling in her grave and saying “F*** you Mickey D’s!” It’s time for a change people!