Wood You Put Another Record On?

If you own a record collection but not a record player, then most people probably assume you’re a smelly hipster. And since no one wants to be one of those people, you better pick up a turntable quick. Of course if you don’t want to also be accused of being a broke hipster who dumpster dives for old electronics, that record player better be pretty snazzy. The Barky Turntable will set the record straight about your status. This high performance turntable is built on a solid ash round with a heavyweight glass platter and adjustable solid brass chromed spikes. Now no one will think you own a record collection just to be ironic—unless you use this really expensive record player as a stand for your iPod to be ironic, you damn hipster. $1300