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The Pixel Swimsuit Looks Like Dial Up Porn
by Jenni Chasteen
Some swimsuits don’t leave anything to the imagination. Personally I’m a big fan of those old-timey swimsuits that look like pajamas—everyone looks equally terrible in those so it’s a level playing field. But swimsuits today seem to serve one purpose and one purpose only: cover the goods so you don’t get arrested for indecent exposure. The Pixel Swimsuit technically covers everything it has to, but you will look stark nekkid from a distance… or to anyone who’s still using a dial up connection and has never seen a real nude woman in person. This pixelated bikini appears to be only a concept at the moment, so if you want to get unhealthy attention at the beach you’re going to have to do it the old fashioned way—pretend to drown so the hunky lifeguard gives you mouth to mouth.
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The landing strip is so dial-up too! Maybe we’ll blur in a Hair eRazor to give her a clean shave. HAHAHA!!
Someone please tell me where i can get one of these!
Apparently, women of colour don’t have an option to wear hilarious bathing suits.
where can I buy this swimming costume???