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LOLWUT: Best Dressed Possum Competition
by Brittany High
In “Why God Why” news, a New Zealand school has hosted a Best Dressed Dead Possum Competition. Yep, you heard right — the world is officially ending. Uruti School held this creepy event as a fundraiser. A fundraiser, huh? What happened to selling rolls of tacky wrapping paper or having a bake sale like a regular school? I would buy you out. I love wrapping presents for myself and I will eat the hell out of some cookies. Oh stop, I’m no saint. I just like to support a good cause! And the best part? YOUR CHILDREN WON’T HAVE TO GLUE GOOGLY EYES ONTO ROADKILL. See? It’s a win-win. Seriously, though, I’ll do anything to prevent myself from having to see a possum in a damn bikini ever again. *shudders*
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Just so you know, Austrailian brush Tailed Possums are a major threat to New Zealand biodiversity. Uriti school is a country school.
Country kids bringing dead possums in dolls clothes to schools is (perversely) appropriate. These guys are tomorrows farmers and dead animals are a reality in the countryside
Oh, just to top it off, the buggers carry Bovine Tuberculosis (the Possums, not the kids)