Grow Your Own Sneakers From Genetically Engineered Stingrays

Ever since I wasted an entire summer protesting bonzai kittens, I’ve become a little skeptical of, well, pretty much anything I read on the internet. So when I discovered that some company is supposedly selling sneakers made from genetically engineered stingrays that you design yourself, I got out my picket signs and sharpies wasn’t sure what to think. While apparently it is possible to cross breed certain animals to create weird ass shit like glow-in-the-dark Beagle puppies, it seems far-fetched that you can drag and drop DNA samples on some website to create custom patterns for sneakers. According to Rayfish you can design a purchase a pair for $14,800-$16,200 or wait until regular production starts later this year when they’ll cost about $1,800. Or you could pick up some Keds and a pack of markers for like $30 and make yourself something equally tacky and stupid for a fraction of the cost.

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