Another day, another weird Japanese product that makes me sleep a little less easy at night. Today we have the Face Slimmer, an anti-aging piece of molded plastic. The intent of the product is to achieve perfect duck lips. I… am gonna pretend like I didn’t know that. The Face Slimmer fits around the lips, forcing them open. The wearer is to recite each vowel sound out loud twice a day, three times a minute. The instructions suggest doing the exercises while bathing because — I don’t know. Your face is more flexy then? Multitasking? I couldn’t tell you, I’m a little unclear on the description on the product site. Mainly because I can’t read. I’m just making this up as I go!