Flatulence Deodorizing Pads For Your Drawls

Are you so much of a child that you have zero control over your bodily functions that you blow ass everywhere you go? Then for god’s sake, get the Flat-D Flatulence Deodorizer. This thing is some kinda medical grade pad that fits into your underwear so that you don’t go around stinking up everyone’s nostrils. Because that’s RUDE. No word if the Flat-D has any effect on the sound your butt emits, but my guess is no, a pad is not going to prevent your ass cheeks from clapping together. Then again, I’m no doctor. Just a person who hates the word “fart.”