Jennifer Olivarez of Squirrel Picnic crocheted this Bowser sweater made for a turtle. Here it is modeled by Myrtle. Lookin’ good, Myrtle! Real good. To be honest, I never thought I could be so attracted to a reptile as I am now. I feel weird! My own personal crisis aside, Jennifer’s been kind enough to provide a tutorial so you can make one, too. Why would you want to your pet turtle to look like a princess-stealing @$$hole like King Koopa? I don’t know… maybe because it LOOKS COOL? God, why do I have to explain everything, don’t you have eyeballs?!