by Jenni Chasteen
You probably thought this was a real vampire rat with glowing eyes. Nope! (You also probably just read that in Chuck Testa’s voice.) This taxidermied vampire rat by Etsy seller ZombieTentacles has flashing red LED eyes, big fangs and a tiny rat-sized Dracula cape. Sadly the piece has already been sold, so you can’t add it to your crazy ass rodent taxidermy collection. It’s really a shame too because I think it would be an elegant solution to my building’s rat problem. All the other rats would run scared if they they saw a vampire rat guarding my apartment—especially because this is the scary type of vampire. That dead rat I covered in body glitter and left by the door isn’t fooling anybody.