Vroom Vroom Suckers! Forklift Pedal Truck

Well, here’s another item going straight to the top of my Christmas wish list! The Big Linde Forklift is a pedal powered mini-forklift. I can’t wait to get my paws on this bad boy! Sure, my fat ass might be a tight fit but we’re gonna make it work. Back when I was 16 my mom got me a job babysitting her coworker’s little kid so the parents could go bang in a parking lot or whatever. This little twerp had a Jeep Power Wheels! Needless to say, when he went down for a nap, I took it for a spin. Pedal to the metal, baby! The next day my mom got a phone call and looked prettyyy disappointed and humiliated. Turns out, the parents had a nanny-cam and, for whatever reason, took issue with my little joy ride. Thankfully, it worked out in my favor, because my mom never pestered me to get a job again. Which is exactly why I’m still unemployed to this day. $390