What do you get when you wrap Gushers fruit snacks in layers of Fruit Roll-Up and then wrap that in Fruit by The Foot? Diabetes. Diabetes, and The Super Gusher. At this point, no one knows who created this beautiful, sugar coma-inducing hunk of snack, but I suggest that person should proudly come forward so we can declare you The King or Queen of OmNomNomdom. The Super Gusher is basically all the things I wished that my mom had packed in my lunch growing up, only to find a smashed peanut butter sandwich, yogurt, some stale crackers, and a post-it note reading:
Oops, ran out of jelly!
Also, can you find a ride home from school today? I’m going bowling.
WTF, seriously? No Capri Sun?! Also, stop calling yourself mommers. Only I get to call you that.