by Brittany High
This ain’t your gramma’s vodka, folks. Naga Chilli Vodka is infused with Naga Jolokia chillies. The hot stuff is rated 100,000 SHU on the Scoville scale, a.k.a. hotter than Satan’s @$$hole, a.k.a. one sip will set your whole damn life on fire and there’s nothing you can do but pray to JC that it’ll all be over soon. Per the product site:
Nose: Good crivvens, this stuff smells like pure evil, like the very blood of Satan himself. Such a pungent nose of chilli, it makes your eyes water just sniffing it.
Palate: Oh, actually, this stuff’s not so bad… Wait a second… What’s that… A burning sensation… Oh dear please no…
Finish: asdfkjhjj hfasjklkljfds klajkh khffjk hfjkhfjhklfhjkjfj fkjhlf
Comment: SJjkhahjklaskjhsd aasdfsd asdfasdff [Ed. He’s just mashing his hands against the keyboard and he has a look of panic and also terror as though he’s seen things no one ought ever see…]
I…feel like I just witnessed a person die. Even worse, at the hands of one of my closest and best friends, Vodka. I’m not handling this well at all. Guess I’ll be taking shots until I black out. When you find me face down on the kitchen floor, just check to make sure I’m not dead, k? $50 Source