Because privates like to dress up too, here are D*ckHats. They’re chocolate hats you wear on your wang. Isn’t that silly? NO. Remember? It’s classy. Plus fashionable. And the best part — edible! You can make your wiener into a warrior with a viking helmet. Or maybe your baloney pony would be better suited with a cowboy hat. Unfortunately, the fancy gentlemen top hat has sold out, so your dreams of dressing your dong up like Mr. Peanut are now dashed. But those dreams are still very weird and unnatural. I am sooooooo judging you right now!