by Brittany High
Capcom opened up this Wesker & Son human butchery to celebrate Tuesday’s release of Resident Evil 6. I’d say this made me lose my appetite but that’d be a lie. I’m sick! And I have a thirst for human flesh! Jk jk, any flesh will do. Unfortunately (fortunately?), it’s not really people meat. It’s animal meat molded to look like human meat! Mmm? They’ve even got some wiener-shaped meats in there, which seems ridiculously juvenile. And that’s really saying something coming from me. This, coming from the grown woman who still uses terms like wiener, pee-pee, and dingaling when referring to male genetalia. Annnnd that’s most likely why I’m forever alone.