Graham Johnson and Rob Hibbert bring us this book called Images You Should Not Masturbate To. Its pages are filled with images you should not masturbate to. Should not, sure, but they never said you can’t! Besides, those guys aren’t the boss of us. What people choose to do behind closed doors is none of their damn business! If you wanna fap to a salt shaker, then — yeah, you’re right. Nobody should be fapping to a salt shaker. That’s just sick. Hey, you know another book that contains images you should not masturbate to? Your family photo album. Sure, I’m tasteless for even bringing it up, but you know what? It’s 100% true. Even distant cousins should be off limits!