I need this! Not because I have a cat, but because I tend to think most cats are daydreaming about killing me. In another helping from The Oatmeal, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a must-read before you visit any of your creepy cat hoarding friends. Did you know that if your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness? OmyMyGosh! The book lays it all out for you, to save your ass from cat-on-human crime, offering cat comics, facts, instructional guides, and even an informative pullout poster.