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Blah Blah Blah Book
I’m not a big fan of book learnin’ and such. I learned how to read the way most kids did—through educational television, comic books, and video games with a lot of menu screens. In school all I ever heard was, continue reading...
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What’s That Lassie? You’re Sexy And You Know It?
Yes, cat ladies are finally cool, but dog lovers have always been widely accepted in society. I happen to be one of them, which is why I find this modern and minimal Dog continue reading...
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Will You Mrh Me?
I don’t know when engagement shoots became the norm, but I know I got sucked into sitting for one. My then fiance was so unhappy to be a part of it, there are virtually no decent photos of him smiling continue reading...
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Set The Stage On Fire…Literally
Anyone who attempts to make a guitar is a superhero in my book. It’s one of those things I would never think to make, because it seems easier to just buy it. Kind of like cake, but I digress. Apparently continue reading...
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Realistic Beavis and Butt-head Busts
Beavis and Butt-head made a comeback recently and after seeing these realistic models we should all be grateful they didn’t remake the show in 3D. The transition from cartoony to realistic is really freaking creepy—it’s no wonder Tom Anderson was continue reading...
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Chill Out Man: Most Relaxing Tune Ever
If you’re like most Americans then your personal anthem is probably Stress by Jim’s Big Ego and there’s a good chance that you’re only one caffeinated beverage away from a stroke. You seriously need to chill the hell out… continue reading...
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Real Rorschach Masks With Ink That Changes Shape
“Swear to me” was hardly the most bad ass line from a comic book movie. Sure, Christian Bale has the “I gargle with broken glass” voice down, but no one sounds more deranged than Rorschach. continue reading...
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The Page Turner, A Rube Goldberg Machine
I looove Rube Goldberg machines. I could watch youtube videos of them all day. Well, those and cats riding on Roombas. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for that shit. This amazing continue reading...
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Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate
Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate by Antoinette Bergin contains hilariously twisted short stories like “Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People” and “Blood in the Sink.” So, basically perfect for scaring the shit out of that 8 year old who continue reading...
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Crimebo the Crime Clown
If you’re like me you grew up being afraid of peanut butter clowns. Yeesh, I still get the heebie-jeebies just thinking of Jumbo crawling out from under my bed, throwing me in a sack and beating me to death with continue reading...
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For Sale By Owner: The Human Slinky
The One and Only Veniamin’s Human Slinky is for sale over on eBay for some 1 million dollars. That… is a lot of money. I remember my first mill. The first thing I did was buy a private jet. It continue reading...
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Better To Give Than Receive: Worst Gift Ever
This is the season for opening gifts and being immediately disappointed. Throughout the year I like to practice my reaction in the mirror for this very occasion. Hand-me-down drawls, again? Gramma, you shant have! Now continue reading...
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