You think you’re some BAMF, but your nails don’t reflect it. That means you’re doing it wrong. You’re just… an AMF. I bet you probably even have those dried up, crusty, bleedy-looking cuticles too. You used to push those back, you used to moisturize. When did you give up, man? What happened to you? There’s still hope though. Just glue some tiny-ass machine guns to your finger nails. Easy! What is more bad-ass than finger maintenance anyway? That’s right: nothing. Yippee ki yay, mother f***ers!
Thanks to Science for the tip. Science, let me take this opportunity to say: I’m a fan of like, all of your work.